Memories or Dreams
by LogicisBoring44
Summary: Dean had an imaginary friend who saved worlds on a daily basis and had a blue box that was bigger on the inside. The dreams of a child, right?
1. Chapter 1

Alright, this is my first fic and it happens to be a crossover.

Basically, if you know the Ninth Doctor and Castiel, you're good.

I do not own Supernatural, Doctor Who, if I did...things would be a _lot_ different on the shows.

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**Memories or Dreams**

Dean and his guardian angel, a being Dean has always and will always trust, flew across the void and saw a man he didn't think existed, save for dreams he had as a child. He had to be imaginary, didn't he? Dean hasn't dreamed of the man since his father asked him to give up the childish nonsense of having an imaginary friend, it was the same day Sammy took his first step, and Dean said goodbye to the Doctor. He remembers the Doctor looking sad as he left in his blue box, Dean could sometimes hear the sound the TARDIS made if he concentrated hard enough. As he grew older, the memories of the Doctor became more and more fuzzy and the adventures he shared with the Time Lord became nothing but wishful dreams, a dreamer's hideaway from his life and family. He treasured those rare moments of remembering the Doctor, though just dreams to him now, and he would sleep peacefully knowing the Doctor would protect him until morning's light.

When Dean turned 10, a dream of the Doctor was so vivid he swore he was there, the Doctor was in a room with lots of wires and a pretty blonde girl, the Doctor was telling her to get something from the TARDIS and once she was inside the Doctor closed the door and sent the girl away. He looked so sad as he did so, like when he said goodbye.

There was sounds of gunfire as the Doctor continued working on whatever he was doing, but in the background with the gunfire, he detected a noise he's only heard in his darkest nightmares; the sounds of Dalek weaponry. Dean felt fear. The Daleks were after the Doctor, and the TARDIS was gone! He called out to the Doctor to make him leave, but the Doctor replied he couldn't. He wasn't going to let the Daleks take over his favorite planet and destroy everything he cared about.

The sounds were getting closer and Dean's fear grew. He was going to watch the Doctor die and there was nothing he could do to stop it. "Please, I can't lose you again!" Dean cried. The Doctor stopped what he was doing and looked straight at him, "It's the only way. Please, Dean, let me do this and save your homeworld. Please." It was the first time the Doctor begged him for anything and it was the one thing he couldn't do. He couldn't let the Doctor die!

Fortunately or unfortunately, the decision was taken out of his hands by the reappearance of the TARDIS and the blonde girl from before. He cried with joy, however short-lived, the blonde girl...something was wrong. Even the Doctor looked worried. She stepped out of the light, she glowed with the Soul of the TARDIS, Dean could feel the power rippling off of her. "Rose," he heard the Doctor say, "what have you done?" Dean closed his eyes and prayed that she would save the Doctor and everything would be alright. The blonde girl, or Rose, did save the Doctor from the Daleks and reanimated Jack, the Doctor's other companion, but she could not survive with the Vortex inside of her. The Doctor took the Vortex into himself and channeled it back into the TARDIS, but not without a price.

The Doctor was dying. Dean felt his heart break; he was going to lose the Doctor again, this time for good. The last thing Dean saw was the Doctor saying goodbye. He smiled at Rose, then looked at him, gave a wink and smiled once more. Bright, golden light burst from within the Doctor, enveloping him, and Dean awoke with that last image of the Doctor burned into his retinas.

His heart was racing. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins, his senses heightened, as he took in his room, the familiarity doing wonders to calm him down. It was just a dream, just a dream he told himself as his heartbeat slowed. Shaking his head, Dean let out a puff of laughter as reality set in. He couldn't believe a dream shook him up this bad, a dream of his imaginary friend of all things, a dream of his imaginary friend dying no less. God, maybe he should see the head doctor. Still laughing, Dean headed to the bathroom to freshen up for the upcoming day, which is promising to be long and filled with schoolwork and babysitting Sammy until dad got home.

Dressed and ready for the day, Dean descended down the stairs to find his dad fighting with the toaster, and Sam waiting impatiently for his breakfast. They both greeted him before their dad returned to his war with the appliances, for even the stove was waging battle against Gunnery Sergeant John Winchester. Dean couldn't help it, he laughed. His dad shot him a dark glare before re-engaging in his losing battle. Their breakfast was burned beyond edibility and the boys made John promise not to try cooking again. It was one of Dean's more treasured memories of his family before his world came crashing down.

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**TBC **

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Yes, there will be other parts, I just got to proof them.

Be nice! R&R...please?


	2. Chapter 2

Two years after his dream of the Doctor, Dean and Sam lost their father. The police called it a "tragic accident," and no matter how it's phrased, it sucked and it wasn't fair. Their dad only went to the store for some ice cream and he got caught in the crossfire between the police and three armed robbers. The police all offered their condolences but it meant nothing to Dean, he blamed them. Sam just clung to Dean like his life depended on it. The memorial service was held in Lawrence, the one place Dean swore to never return to, but it made sense to bury their father with their mother. After the service, all of their dad's friends stayed with them until social services showed up. Bobby, Ellen, Caleb, Pastor Jim, and Rufus waved them goodbye as they were taken away from everything they have ever known.

The moment they entered foster care, they got split up; Sam to a wealthy couple and Dean to a scholarly couple who moved constantly. They were allowed to keep in contact, but after a year they stopped. Dean, because he figured it was better if Sam forgot all about him, and Sam kept losing Dean's constant number changes, so he just gave up and waited until Dean called again. He never did.

On Dean's 15th birthday he dreamed of the Doctor again. Instead of the Doctor wearing his traditional black leather jacket like last time, he was wearing a long coat or trench coat, and he looked completely different but Dean knew he was the Doctor just as he knew something was wrong. This new Doctor was arguing against Torchwood (how he knew that is beyond him), and Rose was there. The Doctor must have regenerated (again he didn't know how he knew this).

Cybermen were there, and to Dean's horror, so were the Daleks. Why can't they ever die?

The Cybermen and the Daleks were fighting each other, both ignoring the Doctor thankfully. As long as they forgot about him then the Doctor would be able to figure out a way to stop the invading forces. Dean's faith was not misplaced as the Doctor found a way to put the robotic men back to where they belong. Dean cheered as his Doctor put his plan into motion. His merriment died as the Doctor once again sent Rose away to safety. Why can't the Doctor ever find a way to stop some evil force without putting his life in danger?

Dean shouted at the Doctor to quit being an idiot with suicidal tendencies. The Doctor just laughed and said why change what's working. "You'll survive?" Dean asked, the answer holding everything he needed to keep on going. He lost his mother, father and his baby brother; he couldn't lose the Doctor too. (Well, again.) The Doctor stopped what he was doing and looked him in the eyes and said, "I don't know if I will, Dean" He looked so sad, like last time, and Dean couldn't watch him die.

"Why do I only remember you when you're about to die?"

The Doctor froze. Dean could read the Doctor so clearly, he honestly didn't know why he only appeared to Dean when the possibility of him dying popped up. Dean watched as the Doctor puzzled this over as he finished doing whatever he was doing.

"I don't know why that is." The Doctor admitted. "Remember when you were four and you asked me why only you could see me." At Dean's nod, the Doctor continued, "Do you remember what I said?"

Dean frowned in concentration as he tried to recall the Doctor's words. "You said it's because I'm special and that you would never leave me. But you lied. You left me."

"Only because you asked me to." The Doctor pointed out. "And I never left you, Dean, not really. I was there in the peripheral."

Dean smiled. "Just in the corner of my eye, the part that sees everything." The Doctor smiled back as he finished his calibrations. Taking a deep breath the Doctor walked over to the computers to start the machine up. Wanting to have the Doctor stop, Dean wished someone would show up and save the Doctor from his own arrogance, to Dean's delight Rose showed up. Yes! She'll save him like last time. Dean watched as Rose and the Doctor hung on for dear life as the Cybermen and Daleks were sucked back into the void. Dean had to laugh at that. Figures. The void is what helped him remember the Doctor.

Dean's laughter died in his throat as Rose's lever was moving, it wasn't locked! Watching in horror, Rose moved to put the lever back in place. He cried out in joy as she managed to lock it. It was short-lived as the pull of the void began dragging Rose to it. Dean could hear the Doctor crying out for her. _Someone save her, _Dean thought frantically. He knew what was coming, so did the Doctor, they both watched as Rose took one last look at the Doctor before losing her grip.

"NO!" They both cried out.

Thank the gods, Rose's father appeared and saved her, taking her back to his world. She was safe, but she and the Doctor could no longer travel together. The Doctor was alone once more.

Dean looked on as the Doctor mourned for his lost companion.

"I'm sorry." Dean whispered.

The Doctor gave a bitter laugh. "They're always stolen from me. The best of them."

Dean frowned at that. "What do you mean they're always stolen from you?"

The Doctor didn't reply for the longest time. He just sat there against the wall, getting as close to Rose as he could without breaking through the veil. Just as Dean was about to leave, he could feel himself starting to wake up, the Doctor spoke, "I lost you, didn't I? You grew up. You needed to grow up, but it still doesn't change the fact that you were stolen from me."

Dean didn't know what to say to that.

The last thing Dean saw, before awareness began taking over, was the Doctor looking so tired. It scared him more than anything he's seen so far.

Despite dreaming of the Doctor again, Dean went on as if nothing has changed even though everything was all wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor talked with him. Interacted with him, saw him. But it was a dream, of course the Doctor seemed real. But the feeling of something was not right wouldn't disappear. Twice now it happened.

Shrugging it off, Dean continued on with his new life with Doctor Daniel Jackson and Vala Mal Doran, his new "parents". He had to laugh as his social worker described them as eccentric geniuses. She failed to mention that Daniel was also an archaeologist and that Vala was a thief. For a year, he travelled around the U.S. with his new family and Dean found he didn't mind the constant moving. It felt right. Though he did put his foot down when Daniel wanted to go back to Egypt. It wasn't the move itself, it was how they were travelling. Dean did _**not**_ fly. Luckily, Daniel understood and they went by ship. Good in theory until a storm hit and Dean refused to get back on the boat the moment they docked for refueling and supplies.

Vala, the sneaky bitch, drugged him and he awoke three hours after they had already left port. He gave her the silent treatment which served to annoy the hell out of her and she took it out on Daniel.

Okay, Dean felt bad about that one. Daniel was a cool guy, he put up with his nightmares and mood swings, not once did he raise his voice or hand at him. In another life, Dean would have loved to call Daniel dad and Vala mom. Wishing ain't nothing in real life so he tried his best to make the best of it.

It was a good move. He and Vala called a truce for Daniel's sanity, and for the family harmony they had going. To be honest, Dean loved it. He had the ultimate freedom as long as he listened to them and didn't cause a fuss; they let him do whatever he wanted.

As they got closer and closer to Egypt, excitement started to build in his stomach. He was going to see the home Daniel had before his parents died in a freak accident at the New York Museum of Natural History and he was forced to live in foster care in the states. Maybe that's why Daniel understood him so well; he went through what he was experiencing. Vala moved around a lot as well when she was younger. Her dad wasn't so stellar and he barely had any time for her. In a way, Dean was glad because she was always there for him and, drugging aside, she was an awesome mom.

They docked at Port of Alexandria and from there they made their way to Cairo. It was close enough for Daniel to do his archaeology thing and near enough to modern society for Vala to do her "thing".

Dean was on cloud nine. Daniel got them reservations at the Four Seasons Hotel...in a suite! They were going to live in a suite for three months! Dean loved his new life and he loved his new family. He sent a silent prayer for forgiveness to his mom, dad and brother but they had to want the best for him, right? He did for Sam.

During those three months, Dean learned how to read hieroglyphs, unearth artifacts, catalogue said artifacts, how to pick locks, pockets (Daniel doesn't know about the last two) and learned two languages: Egyptian Arabic and French. The last one because Vala wanted to go to Paris for a couple of weeks and Daniel didn't want to be the walking translator of the family...that was going to be _his_ job. Dean didn't mind because at one of the digs, he discovered his love of art. (Weird place for that kind revelation, but hey.) And they promised to take him to all the art museums in France. Daniel encouraged him to pursue it and Vala took him to the nearest art store for supplies.

The first thing he drew, to his surprise, was the TARDIS. No Doctor or Rose or any kind of companion, just the ship herself. He drew it with painstaking detail, down to her last scratch. Daniel took one look at it and praised him for his talent and eye for detail, saying most new artists try to hide the imperfections. Dean glowed and felt a deep satisfaction settle within him. From there on, Dean's sketch book began filling with the images of the Doctor in all his reincarnations, the TARDIS (the inside this time, which took _**forever**_), Rose, Sarah Jane, K9, Mickey, Jack, Martha, Donna, Amy, Rory and River. He had no idea who the last three were, but he guessed time would tell. It was kind of creepy but it all made sense in an absolutely bizarre way and that he didn't want to think too hard about it in case his head might explode.

After watching Dean draw the Doctor (again), Daniel asked who he was. Talk about a complicated question! How does he tell his surrogate father that the Doctor was his imaginary friend when he was a child, and that twice now in five years he has dreamed of the Doctor and even interacted with him?

Apparently, you do just that. Daniel sat patiently and listened without interrupting until he finished his story. Daniel remained sitting for a long time, long enough that Dean was beginning to worry about his place within this family. _What if they didn't want a kid that was crazy? What if they were going to send him back to the states, back into foster care!_ His distress must have showed on his face for Daniel began talking.

"I believe you." Those three words felt like absolution. Dean couldn't help it, he laughed so hard and long until he began to cry. It felt like everything that has happened the past few years, finally hit him and he couldn't hold it in anymore. Daniel wordlessly gathered him in his arms and held him until no more tears could be shed.

That night he heard his dad talk to Vala about his art. In whispered tones, they talked well into the morning's light. About what, he could only guess, the Doctor probably being the safe bet and his dreams concerning the Time Lord. Maybe Daniel would find the answers he's been looking for since Rose disappeared.

He listened to them whisper until he drifted off into sleep, unfortunately not a dreamless one.

He was inside the TARDIS. There is only one place in the Universe that could hold complete chaos while being abstractedly organized. Dean looked around, searching for the Doctor and his companion. It was Donna! Ha, he knew Donna was special like him, the Doctor probably didn't know it 'til after he chose her. Wait, not just Donna...Rose! Jack! They're alive! Dean has never been so happy before in his dreaming state, then it hit him.

He's dreaming of the Doctor.

He gets to watch the Doctor put his life in danger once more, but this time he had confidence the Doctor would survive because Rose was back and she would never let anything happen to their Doctor.

Then everything went to hell. Davros, the Dalek creator, was back, but how? The Doctor told him long ago that the Time Lords and Daleks are trapped in a time lock, no escape.

The Doctor, Rose and Jack exited the TARDIS but Donna held back. Wonder why? Suddenly the TARDIS closed itself, locking Donna inside. Then Davros dropped the TARDIS into the heart of a star. The Doctor looked on helplessly as the TARDIS was slowly destroyed with Donna inside.

Not Donna! He felt a kinship with the fiery ginger. Odd, considering this was the first time he actually saw her. Gotta ask the Doctor about that once this latest catastrophe was handled.

Jack reacted where the Doctor could not; he shot at Davros and was killed instantly by Dalek Supreme, his second-in-command. The ancient man/machine laughed as Jack's body hit the ground and at Rose's cry of denial.

Oh, and haha, Jack couldn't die. Nice little tidbit, something that should have been told _before_ watching the ex-Time Agent get shot. A fixed point in time, the Doctor whispered in his mind, an anomaly. "Well, that's just fine and dandy, next time tell me these things," Dean grumbled. The Doctor let a little smile show before hiding it. Dean knew it was for him, to let him know the Doctor could hear him. Sweet.

Davros continued his little speech. What about, Dean didn't know, he tuned him out, knowing the Doctor would put it in layman's terms when Rose asked.

So, he was inside a Dalek command ship...interesting, and by interesting he means paralyzing terror. Jesus Christ! He was on a DALEK ship with no way off, okay granted; he wasn't really there but try telling that to his brain. Dean couldn't believe his life. In reality he was on a train heading towards Paris, but in his dreams he's on a spaceship that's one second in the past in the Medusa Cascade. He really needed to see the head doctor when he awoke. Maybe Daniel will take him or Vala, not really picky at this point.

Dean wandered around the area the Doctor and Rose were trapped in as they listened to the ramblings of an insane...let's call him a cyborg. Talk about torture. He must have said it out loud for the Doctor grinned. Which only seemed to piss off Davros even more and called for a demonstration of the...uh, Reality Bomb? Whatever that is and judging by the Doctor's expression, he doesn't know what it is either. Not comforting.

Oh god, it breaks apart the electrical forces keeping everything together. The people he demonstrated on became nothing but scattered atoms in the ether. Davros plans to use it on every living thing that isn't a Dalek, he's going to spread it out to every parallel universe and alternate dimensions. Dean felt like throwing up. He looked to the Doctor who wore the expression of absolute horror. How could Davros do this? How could he destroy everything that isn't what he thinks is the supreme race?

Dean wanted to wake up. He wanted to wake up **now**! "Daniel, wake me up! Please! Daniel!" He begged his foster father, hoping to god he could hear him.

"Dean!"

"Daniel?" Please be him.

"Dean, please calm down." It wasn't Daniel, it was the Doctor. _ So_ not the person he was hoping for.

"Daniel!" He ignored the Doctor in hopes of his foster dad hearing him. This is definitely not a dream he wants to remember, nor is it something he wants to ever see again. Doctor or not, he can't handle this, he needs to wake up in the real world, where everything is normal and there are no extraterrestrials of any kind (at least he thinks).

"Dean, please just trust me and stay. Please." The Doctor begged, no longer acting like he couldn't see him. They locked eyes and Dean got lost within those ancient eyes he's known since childhood, the first face he can remember and the voice that lulled him to sleep when he was a baby.

Dimly, Dean could hear both Rose and Davros asking the Doctor who he's talking to. Without breaking eye contact, the Doctor replied none of your business and maintained their stare until Dean said, "Why should I trust you? Why should I trust what I'm dreaming is real? And _don't_ say because you're the Doctor."

"Dean, you've known me since the day you were born. Trust I know what I'm doing." He took a deep breath and continued, "You know me, Dean, better than anyone. You're special to me and I won't let anything happen to you. Trust me." Those eyes looked at him like he was the only thing in this universe that mattered and Dean found himself nodding. He'd wait and trust the Doctor.

_Please don't let him regret this._

The Doctor turned his attention back to Davros and Rose and told the Dalek "father" that he would stop him. Davros laughed and said he didn't believe him and that the ones who would defeat him would be the Children of Time, his companions. Sure enough, Martha and the others appeared all saying they would destroy him. Dean took one look at the Doctor to see devastation written all across his face. Hell, even he felt the need to help but since he was a...what was he? Whatever. Since Dean wasn't _exactly_ there, he really couldn't do anything but whisper encouragement to the Doctor as the reality of turning once innocent humans into weapons of his doing. Talk about a harsh reality.

Davros, the sneaky bastard, kept them talking until he could pinpoint their location then beamed them to him, thus, stopping their plans to destroy him. Stupid! If Dean was _actually_ there he would have killed him without explaining anything, then again, the Doctor would have looked even more destroyed than he does now. Catch twenty-two situations, ain't those a bitch?

Dean did the only thing he could do: he prayed. He prayed loud, practically shouting, that someone would save them...to save the Doctor. He kept repeating the words over and over until he heard a noise that made his eyes snap open and hope surge through him.

It was the TARDIS!

With Donna!

...and the Doctor?

_What the hell?!_

There was a bunch of commotion but Dean was still stuck on **two** Doctors! Two, there are two of them and Dean felt like he was losing his mind. "Doc, please tell me you have a twin." He asked meekly, without taking his eyes off of the _other_ Doctor.

"Metacrisis. He's the product of a metacrisis." The Doctor answered all of them without looking away from Donna and her new...intelligence; she was as smart as the Doctor, either Doctor.

"A what?" Dean said, still not getting it.

The Doctor _finally_ looked up, staring right at him with a look of confusion and barely hidden fear, "She's part human and part Time Lord. A hybrid. And so is the other me? Him? Him is part human."

"Which isn't what it's all cracked up to be." The Meta...Doctor said from behind the computer thingy. Dean had no clue what it was exactly but the Doctors and Donna were going to town on it, hell, Donna even managed to hack the Dalek code and now she controls their motor functions. It was pretty funny actually. Kind of poetic.

Donna also managed to send the planets back into their own time and space save for...you guessed it, Earth. "Why does our planet always get the sucky end of the deal?" Dean wondered out loud.

"Because we're the Doctor's favorite, ergo, Earth gets all the crappy deals." Dean nodded his head in understanding...then quickly looked up to find Donna staring _right at him._ She answered him. Donna Noble, the Doctor's _human _(sort of) companion, answered him. Meaning she could hear him...see him.

Shock coursed through his body at the implications that someone other than the Doctor could interact with him in his dream state. Could it be because she was part Time Lord and that only Time Lords could see him? Did that mean the Meta-Doctor could see him as well? So many questions that he wanted to ask both Donna and the Doctor(s) but they were thrown aside in favor of watching the Earth being saved by the Doctor(s) and a half, plus his companions. It was a sight to behold. Dean felt elation as he watched them work together as they flew the TARDIS and the earth back to where it belongs.

Dean could not believe the Meta-Doctor, or John Smith (really?), went back to the alternate world with Rose. That…that had to hurt. Dean had seen the way the Doctor looked at Rose, and to see her leave with his human self, his lesser self, had to have destroyed him on some level but being the Doctor he buried it deep, so deep he wouldn't be able to find it...or feel it, at least not for a long time.

Dean began to feel himself waking up. It wasn't like last time, he felt good about waking up from a happy ending.

That is until Donna started acting weird. Dean's stomach crept up into his throat as he listened to the Doctor explain to Donna what was wrong with her. There wasn't supposed to be a human metacrisis. The human body wouldn't be able to handle the information a Time Lord bears inside them. Dean's heart was breaking for the Doctor as the Time Lord hid the memories of his and Donna's adventures behind a wall so thick Troy would be jealous. The look on the Doctor's face shattered Dean's resolve and he started to cry for the Doctor, Donna and himself. It felt like _he_ was the one losing his best friend.

_Their always stolen from me. The best of them._ The Doctor's words, spoken so long ago, echoed inside his head. He finally understood what the Doctor meant. The Doctor was always alone in the end, no matter how many companions he takes; the end result is always the same.

No wonder the Doctor looked so sad when he said goodbye, the last time he actually _physically _interacted with him. Dean was another in a long line of people who left him. But the question was why he was able to talk to the Doctor in his dreams when all his other companions could not? Was he really that special? A small part of Dean was thrilled with that prospect but a bigger part of him screamed caution, that doesn't always mean a good thing when dealing with the Doctor.

The Doctor set the TARDIS for autopilot once he was far enough away from his latest heartbreak. The ancient man just stood there for the longest time, not moving, hardly breathing. Dean offered his support by just being there for the Doctor, waiting until the Time Lord was ready to talk.

An hour (dream hour?) went by in companionable, if mournful silence. Dean would have given anything to be able to hug the Doctor, chick flick or not, the man needed a hug.

Awareness began to spread through his body but Dean didn't want to go, not yet. Not when the Doctor really needed him. Dean fought tooth and nail to stay with his hurting Doctor but he knew in the end he'd wake up and leave the Doctor once more.

Hasn't the man lost enough?

Dean could hear Daniel and Vala moving around the cabin. Soon he'll be in the _real_ world and the Doctor would be left here with no companion. "Please, let me stay." Dean begged to no one in particular. "Please."

"It's alright, Dean," The Doctor replied monotonously. "I'll be fine. Go." The Doctor looked so down trodden, Dean knew he was lying. That look made Dean act on impulse.

"I'll find a way back to you." Dean vowed. "I swear. We'll travel together like you promised. _I_ won't leave you, nothing can make me."

Raw grief was the Doctor's strongest emotion when he looked up at Dean. "Don't promise me that." The Doctor sounded so broken as he continued speaking. "Don't promise what you can't keep. Don't...just don't. Please, Dean."

The Doctor's words shattered something inside of Dean and he only looked at his Doctor memorizing the Time Lord's face one last time.

"I'll see you again." It wasn't a question. Dean fully meant to see his Doctor again. Some of his determination and faith must have shown through for the Doctor looked up in surprise. Dean gave him a devil-may-care smirk before leaving.

When Dean awoke it was with a smile on his face. Don't get him wrong, the Doctor was in a bad place but what had him giddy was that the Doctor smiled back, it was weak and a little watery, but, the Doctor smiled. He wasn't completely gone. There was hope to bring the Doctor back from this latest blow. Now, all he had to do was find a way back, and all he had to do was break through the Veil that separates the different realities apart without breaking it down completely...A piece of cake.

Ha!


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **Hey all! Sorry for taking me so long to post the forth chapter. I was redecorating my house, my friend's house and helping my sister move into her new place. Apologies. Plus side? I got the fifth chapter all written up, I just got to proof it and submit.

Anywho, here's the next chapter. Enjoy!

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So...breaking through fabric of reality, how does one do that? He should just ask Daniel, or Carter. She's smart, she'd probably ramble off a dozen theories and all he had to do was take notes. Easy peasy.

Dean snorted. Yeah, _real_ easy to break through the Veil. He couldn't help it, he had to laugh and he did. He laughed so hard and long his ribs started to ache.

Daniel and Vala looked at him liked he lost his mind. It made him laugh even harder. They weren't that far off. He was planning to break through the Veil to get to his imaginary friend just so said imaginary friend wouldn't be alone anymore. Oh, and once he somehow managed to break through the Veil he had to find the right reality with his Doctor, all without damaging the very fabric of reality, every reality.

Wow, he couldn't breathe. Dean hyperventilated.

"Breathe, Dean. Just breathe." He could barely hear Daniel over the roaring noise. "It's okay. I'm right here. Everything's going to be alright. Now, breath with me." Dean felt himself being pulled up into Daniel's lap. If he wasn't so worried about suffocating, he'd be mortified right now but he _was_ beginning to calm down. Daniel put his head over his heart and Dean found his own heartbeat slow down to match Daniel's calm, steady rhythm. Within minutes Dean found he could catch his breath. He began to pull away, his face turning bright red but Daniel wasn't having it. He stubbornly pulled Dean back into his lap and just held him for a long time. Despite the embarrassing situation, Dean relaxed into Daniel, putting his head back over Daniel's heart. He let himself be held and taken care of.

They heard the door open and close. Tensing, Dean looked up but soon relaxed when he saw that it was only Vala bringing some food for them. Understanding that Dean wasn't in the mood to eat with other people right now. God, he had an awesome foster mom.

Dean watched as Vala spread out his favorite food so that it was close enough for him and Daniel to reach without moving from their position. He has never been so grateful before in his life. He needed this. He needed to be held and to have someone else take care of him, something he hasn't done since his dad, hell, since his mom died. And to be honest, it felt amazing. He didn't have to be watchful or careful anymore. Daniel had already proved he'd keep him no matter what. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off of him. So he stayed in Daniel's arms, not bothering to move unless he absolutely had to.

An hour passed by as they ate in companionable silence. As much as Dean wanted to ignore this entire situation, he couldn't do that to Daniel and Vala. They put up with so much from him, he just couldn't do it. So instead he buried himself into Daniel's chest and hugged his foster father tighter, feeling Daniel do the same, grounding him once more.

Their time in Paris came and went. To Dean's absolute terror, they flew home. He did it for his foster parents; they both looked exhausted from both the trip and his nightmares of the Doctor. He woke up screaming every time and Daniel was always there, Vala not far behind. It got to the point where, to Dean's deep mortification, he slept with them. Vala told him, ever so bluntly, that they could not do this another night and pushed him bodily into bed, right into Daniel's arms. They sandwiched him between them effectively trapping him. It took a while but Dean grew accustomed to this new development and the nightmares soon faded.

After what seemed like the hundredth time, turbulence shook the plane causing Dean to gasp and hold even tighter to the armrests, damn near fusing them together. Vala pried his right hand off the poor, abused metal and folded it into hers, whereas Daniel grabbed his left and did the same. Feeling like a child, he tried to pull away but turbulence rattled the plane, **AGAIN**, and he gripped tighter onto their hands. "Shit," he swore and all but buried his face into Vala's chest. She soothed him and continued whispering nonsense into his ears until he drifted off into blissful sleep.

When he awoke, they were landing at the airport and Dean booked it for the exit, cutting ahead of everyone else. He could hear Daniel and Vala calling after him but he wasn't going to stop, not when he was so close to solid ground. The moment his feet hit the dirt he dropped to his knees: he was home! In a rather dramatic manner, he kissed the ground and refused to move, that is until Daniel _picked him up_ and _carried_ him into the terminal. What is it with him that causes Dean to act like a pathetic kid when it comes to Daniel and Vala? Seriously, if his dad or Sam had seen him acting like that, they wouldn't know who he was.

But he was a big enough of a man to allow himself to be carried to luggage before grabbing what was left of his dignity and hopping down out of Daniel's arms, sending them a glare warning them not to say a word. They obliged but not before giving him a _look. _God, he hated when they did that. It always made him feel like he was doing something wrong, without knowing what exactly. Just that it was w-r-o-n-g.

Normally, this would be the perfect time to argue that he was innocent, of whatever they were silently accusing him of, but instead he bowed his head in submission and dutifully grabbed his luggage, then headed out to the parking lot and patiently waited for them to catch up.

Dean couldn't help it. For one brief second, he thought he was looking for the impala, his dad's black '67 Chevy Impala the one he got for him and his mother as a pre-wedding gift. He remembered many a-day when they just packed up and went for a ride.

He remembers the time when mom had found out she was pregnant with Sammy and they decided to go to Grandpa Campbell and Grandma Deanna to share the good news. Whenever he started to get bored his mom would sing a song to him or play little games with him, and his dad would look at them like they were the only things that mattered in the world. It made him feel safe, secure, loved.

A year later that feeling disappeared. But over the years, it slowly came back until his dad died and then Sammy was taken away. It felt like his world was truly ending; that is, until Daniel and Vala saved him and brought back the feeling of home. He sent a silent prayer to Sam, begging forgiveness for finding a family without him in it.

Dean was snapped out of his somewhat melancholic thoughts when Daniel bumped into him, sensing the encroaching sadness, and smiled at him then nodded towards their car, where Vala was waiting impatiently for them. Dean shot Daniel a smirk before shooting off towards the range rover. Not as cool as a 1967 Chevy Impala but it was reliable and not douche-y at all. It was suitable.

He threw himself into the backseat and watched Daniel and Vala argue over who's going to drive. Dean felt a smile grow, Vala was going to win, dad could never deny mom when she truly wanted something. The smile that was steadily growing on his face died suddenly.

Wait, what?

Dad?

Mom?

_Shit_.

Dean felt his stomach seize up and the overwhelming urge to throw up dominated everything else. Who was he to deny such an emotion? Dean calmly got out of the car, went towards the trunk and promptly emptied himself of the lunch he had managed to choke down. Understandably, Daniel and Vala were a little freaked out.

How he could he tell them that he forgot, for one second, they were _not_ his parents...it was just one second and Dean felt like his world warp once more. All his carefully formed walls he had erected after his father's death came crumbling down and Dean's world turned black.

* * *

**TBC**


End file.
